DIVORCE: A GROWING CONCERN OF OUR TIME.

Divorce Your Speed
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Thirty years ago, the rate of divorce was so low one would think that marriages were for life and all couples were happily married, despite the fact that most of marriages were arranged at that time.

Recently i was talking to a judge friend in my hometown of Niger Republic, he couldn’t hide his disappointment and worries about the number of divorce cases they try everyday. He said to me, it looks like no one wants to stay married.

Why is the rate of divorce high? What is happening to marriage? What is the root of the problem? is there a way to stop this social danger?

I am not a psychiatric, neither a psychologist nor a sociologist, and my observation might be erroneous and out of line, but i have to attempt to understand why, and give my humble contribution nevertheless, because the divorce rate is of growing concern,especially in africa. It is a difficult challenge to tackle, but let’s make an effort together to see if we can salvage marriages from the evil of divorce.

After a long observation and discussion with many divorced people, and consultation with experts, i believe that miscommunication and misunderstanding have a lot to do with today’s divorce rate. And again what causes that? I mean the miscommunication and misunderstanding!!

We also have to look into the meaning of true love. Do we really know the meaning of true love before embarking upon the journey of marriage? Do we really know what love is?

We all think that we know what love is? But do we? Once our hearts beat at a high speed for someone, we think that’s it! what we don’t know is that in order to keep that heart beat alive, and sustain love, many other things need to be done, from sacrifices to the checking of expectations under control.

Most of us don’t know what love is. Why did i say that? Because when you love you don’t expect, you give without any expectation and you don’t resent your partner even if he/she doesn’t give back. When you love you give 100%, no matter what percentage your partner gives.

Marriages are failing and falling apart today because of false expectations and both the husband and the wife are expecting too much from each other. Going into marriage thinking that the partner is perfect, is another mistake because when reality hits, the disappointment is so big, and the consequences even bigger.

Could it also be that marriage comes with unexpected responsibilities, so much, so that at the end the married couple feels the burden, and just give up without trying to understand the responsibilities?

Or could it be that people go into marriage without knowing what it really is? without understanding its essence?

Another point to be seriously taken in consideration is, the external interference, from families in law, friends, neighbors. All of them try to tell you how to live with your husband/wife, or how to deal with a personal problem. As time goes on such interference becomes confusing and unbearable at the end.

Divorce is one of the scourges of our time. And consequently it is our problem, therefore we need to put our heads together to save one of the most sacred social institution.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. YAHAYA ABUBAKAR KARFI
    Jan 17, 2011 @ 01:09:58

    Thank you halima for your educative and enlighting blogs,may almighty allah bless you for your effort to save marriage and other social issue.

    Reply

  2. YAHAYA ABUBAKAR KARFI
    Jan 17, 2011 @ 01:11:51

    Thank you halima for your educative and enlighting blogs,may almighty allah bless you for your effort to save marriage and other social issues..

    Reply

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